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My First Soup Run

It's getting wintry out there, the wind is cold and people are wrapping up warm. This time of year often focuses our minds on those less fortunate than ourselves which is wonderful. I read with interest a report by one of my company's VPs recently, she had spent a day sorting blankets for Crisis at Christmas. People feel compelled to do something for others at Christmas, whether this is Christ working through us or just someone doing something nice for someone else it's good to see. It also got me thinking about how I started working on the Soup Run and so I went back to look for this. I wrote it after my first Soup Run ten years ago. Unfortunately with the recession things have got worse for many people, we see 80-100 people now on the streets of Bristol, compared to 40-50 ten years ago. We also see a number of ladies regularly now and we only saw one regularly ten years ago.

If you are like I was before I went out on the soup run and you don't really know how to help someone you see begging or busking on the street, you could try this. Buy them a sandwich or Mars bar, when you give it to them ask how they are today, ask their name. This human contact is often more important than food, and it make you feel pretty good as well.

Any enough of my current waffle, here is my waffling from 10 years back.

My First Soup Run

After what had been an unusually warm few weeks in April, it was a cold and windy night.  I made sure I had a warm coat on, probably to warm, as I don’t normally feel the cold. For the first time I was to help with the soup run, we were to spend the evening giving soup and sandwiches to the homeless of Bristol.

After I was picked up we drove into the centre and set up at Pip n’ Jay’s, a church just off Castle Green. There were already a couple of gentlemen waiting for us so we welcomed them and started to sort the food out.  We had homemade soup, Vegetable, Leek & Potato, Celery and Potato and Carrot. We also had lots of sandwiches and rolls and for once no tuna, apparently Martin is famous for making tuna sandwiches. Desert comprised of wagon wheels and home made cakes, with a special Easter treat of cream eggs.

I guess I didn’t really know what to expect. I felt very honoured in being able to help, even serve, these people. It was a lot of fun running around pouring tea, coffee and soup.  The atmosphere was light hearted with a lot of banter and chat.  This was almost the first time I had been able to treat these homeless gentlemen as people. I pass them almost everyday and struggle to even say hello. I was so very pleased God had found a way of letting me obey my conscience. 

We had three sleeping bags that were very well appreciated, the four gentlemen who wanted them didn’t argue, they just worked it out between themselves. I have seen businessmen argue over much less. To my amazement one man pulled a large Easter egg from his bag and gave it to us asking if we could pass it on to any young kids we found on the street.

After almost an hour and when everyone hand had there fill we moved on to the next stop. I was feeling quite high, what we were doing felt right and I was enjoying myself. I almost had to remind myself I was doing this for them and for God not for myself. Jesus had told me to serve and I felt compelled to do so.

We pulled into a turnoff close to the river and St. Mary’s Redcliff. Again there were a couple of gentlemen waiting and we were quickly joined by several more. One old man had had all his things stolen, blanket, pension book, everything. He was hoping we might have a blanket for him but by this point we had none left. He also had nowhere to go that night, apart from next to a wall with a small fire for warmth. Without thinking Martin solved the problem, at least as well as he could, by taking off is own coat and putting it around the old man. You can see God in many things, never before have I seen Jesus at work so clearly; it was difficult not to weep. Before leaving there we made sure there was firewood and a couple of the other gentlemen stayed with him.

The evening left me feeling exhilarated yet deeply sadden. As I said to Martin it difficult to see how anyone has the strength to help with such a big problem yet it’s impossible not to want to help. It most certainly won’t be the last soup run I help with.

I am going to make you smile

Last night we were out on the soup run. Our church goes out twice every four weeks as part of the Soup Run Trust in Bristol, which send people out every night of the year.  We are very lucky in our parish and we have a group of over 80 people who help by making sandwiches, soup, tea, coffee, rolls, cakes, and hot food. People also contribute things like candles, soap, shampoo, razors, tissues, tooth brushes, under ware, clothes, blankets. Everything we need in fact to make our soup run quite special for the homeless people we meet. But sometimes, on often, they make our soup run particularly special. Last night right at the end of the evening when when had given out all that we had two men turned up late and asked for food. We apologies and gave them some tea, but as we were doing this one of the homeless men we had already served went into his bag and handover a couple of rolls he had been saving for later. This generosity of people who have nothing always amazes me. 

The following thought was written a couple of years ago after I heard this heart touching story while out on the soup run. Enjoy.

I am going to make you smile

I am going to give you a present; I am going to make you smile. I am going to tell you a story that will lift your heart, whenever you remember it or tell it.

You may remember that it rained a lot last summer. A homeless man, Brian, was sitting next to a cash point, hoping to get a few pounds to buy a night in a shelter out of the rain. Sometimes the rain makes people more generous, sometimes it’s so wet they don’t even notice and this day was turning into a ‘not being noticed day’. Around 10 in the morning, a lady walked by in a hurry. Brian asked if she could spare any change and she slowed and apologised that she didn’t have any. Then she stopped and looked at Brian and said, “Could you do me a favour, I am always losing my umbrella at work. Could you look after it for me until about 4 this afternoon when I finish work. I’ll come back for it on my way home.” Brian couldn’t believe is luck and willingly agreed. He spent the day a little drier and when it stopped raining around 4 o’clock he was still sat by the cash point. Shortly after 4 the lady returned, she gave Brian a little money and chatted to him for a few minutes. When Brian returned the umbrella she said, “I am not going to lose this umbrella now, it has a special memory attached to it. Thank you.”
Brian told me this story about a week after it happened; he had made a few pounds, stayed dry for a day and had chatted with someone who cared. But he had also been amazed by this lady, and was telling everyone the story. In one moment, she changed his day, but the way she did it touched his heart, and his story touched mine and I hope yours too. Please feel free to give this story to anyone who needs to smile, and just think for a minute about how much good one amazing moment can bring.

Homlily - Christ The King

My dear brother and Sisters, if you have been reading my tweets over the last 24hours you may be wondering what all the nervousness has been about. Well I gave my first homily at St. Augustine's today. Over the last year I have given several at St John Fisher, but that church has a very different feel to it. It is small and intimate and I feel very much at home there, where as St Augustine's is much bigger and more formal, noisier and I still feel a little out of my deep serving there so stepping up to reflect on today's readings and Christ the King was nerve racking.

Writing this homily was challenging as well. After the homily I gave at Ammerdown with no notes I felt confident but when I sat down with the scripture nothing came easily. Much of the theology was complex and I struggled to find words to explain things. I spent 4-5 hours at the keyboard and typed nothing, than on Thursday evening after 2 hours of nothing it just flowed, 20mins and most of it was written. I guess you have got to give the Holy spirit space to provide you with the words.

So if you are interested this is the homily, or at least near enough, as the exact wording changes as you stand up and start speaking to the congregation. God Bless, J.

Homily – Christ The King

Notes 21^st Nov 2010

Reading

Old Samuel               5:1-3

Psalm                        Ps 121

New Colossians       1:12-20

Gospel Luke            23:35-43

As we reach the end of another year we celebrate today the feast of Christ the King. But I have to admit, after all the press coverage this week of Prince William's engagement to Kate Middleton, I am a little uncomfortable thinking of Christ as a King. Prince William is second in-line to the thrown after his father Prince Charles. He is very likely to be King one day. His Kingdom or commonwealth will stretch across the globe from Canada to Australia. Is this a good comparison to Christ the king?

Personally I think it falls a long way short. So how about we look to the Kings of history, warrior kings ruling their lands. Strong powerful kings like king Richard, or more sinister kings like King John. Well again this doesn't work for me when I read about Jesus.

Jesus had no palace, no robes, no political power, and he wasn't willing to rule through power. When Jesus walked the earth he resisted being made king, for example in John's Gospel when he tells us about Jesus feeding the 5000 we hear “Jesus, who could see they were about to come and take Him by force and make Him king escaped back to the hills by Himself.” And again when Pilate asks him if he is the king of the Jews he replies “It is you who say it”. The only time he wears a crown it is made of thorns and cuts deeply into his head.

So what sort of king is he? Where is his kingdom?

Today's readings help us understand why today we we refer to Christ as the Universal King.

Our first reading is about David, the second and possible greatest, King of Israel. It tells of his anointing as king by the tribes of Israel after a civil war and the death of Saul the first King. The prophets who foretold of Jesus' coming said he would be descended from David. And so in human terms Jesus had a claim to the human throne of David, and the ability to unite the people of Israel as David had done, to establish armies and retake Jerusalem, to re-establish it as Gods Kingdom and home for the Jews as Gods chosen people. This was what was expected of him 2000 years ago, but it was not the kingdom he came to establish.

For that we need to look closely at our second reading Paul's letter to the Colossians. Paul was writing to correct a heresy spreading in Colossae, called Gnosticism. And the great thing for us is that Paul choose to do this by telling the Colossians everything the was correct about Christianity, rather than telling them everything that was wrong about Gnosticism. So we are left with a wonderful description of Christ and his kingdom.

Paul uses phases like “join the Saints”, “inherit the light”, “out of darkness” and the phrase I want to talk a little more about “Created a place for us in the kingdom of the Son he loves”.

But Paul didn't write in English, he wrote in Greek and his words may have meant something a little different for people of the time so I am going to try and teach you a little history and a little Greek.

The unusual word I want to explain is meth-is'-tay-mee (methistemi) it means in our translation today “Created a place for” but it was used specifically when a conquering army exiled all the people in a conquered land back to their own land. Just like the Babylonians and Egyptians did to the Jews. So in that one word “Meth-is'-tay-mee” or “created a place for” Paul is showing the readers of his letter a picture of Christ's victory over this world and of them being carried away to kingdom of light to join the saints. It's a lovely image isn't it.

Paul goes on to describe Christ. He was the first born of all creation, through him everything was created, Thrones, Dominations, Sovereignties, powers – everything was created through him and for him.

So if the power of every king, prime minister, emperor and president is given by his kingdom, the kingdom of heaven and earth, the kingdom of everything you can see and everything you can't, that kingdom must be a very different place. Christ is King of something so big and so wonderful we can't imagine it, but that doesn't mean we can't experience it, touch it, feel it. Know it really exists!

So now as we turn to the Gospel we see the sacrifice he made to win this victory for us. And most importantly how we can gain our freedom in His Kingdom.

The gospel scene is familiar to us, but try and picture it now for me. There is a hill a short distance from a big city, on the hill are three simple wooden crosses. Nailed to each is a man, but the man in the centre has also been beaten, he's covered in blood and bruises. He is being mocked by all around him. “IF you are the king of the Jews save yourself” they say. Even one of the men hanging from a cross next to him joins in the abuse.

Placed above his head is a sign “This is the king of the Jews” is this sign also mocking him, or has it been placed there by Pilate because he is beginning to believe that Jesus is something much bigger?

The other criminal next to Jesus then turns to him, admits his crime and asks to be remembered in his kingdom. And Jesus promises him paradise. That's a clear message for us isn't it.

Admit we are wrong and ask to be taken to his kingdom. If you remember nothing more from today's gospel remember that.

You may by now be thinking that Christ's Kingdom is heaven, the paradise we as a people of hope aspire to when our time on earth is done. But if you listen to Paul's letter and this gospel you realise that Christ Kingdom is bigger than heaven, everything seen and unseen, heaven and earth, are part of his kingdom. And you right now are experiencing that kingdom. You are his body, he is present in the people next to you right now, and you are making him present to the people next to you. You want to be part of Christ Kingdom turn and smile at someone next to you...

...how did it feel to see Christ smiling back at you?

The Victory of Christ on the cross is his kingdom, a kingdom we make present every day by accepting Christ as our King. By accepting the tasks he gives us to do. The vocations and ministries he challenges us to complete. Today is a day to be proud of your faith, to be proud of you kingdom, to be proud of of the work you do in His kingdom and most of all today is a day to celebrate and worship our King.

Vocational Reflection from Ammerdown

Last year when I was asked to take some time away from the programme for Gail and myself and therefore take another year to complete the formation program I was very angry and very hurt. I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t complete the training and the formation with my brothers. I questioned what I had done wrong, I questioned the people who made the decision, I ranted at friends and my brothers in the formation program. I tried to understand, I knew that it had been a difficult decision and that it must have been done prayerfully but it still hurt and it didn’t feel right.

Paul spent some time with me, explaining that God had his reasons and that as I approached ordination I would understand them. That I needed the extra time for some reason. While my head excepted this, my heart didn’t. I felt like I thought Jonah must have felt, while sulking in the desert at the end of his story. I felt hard done by but for no good reason. If I wanted to serve God, and this was his will, what was the problem. However, I certainly felt there was a problem.

A few weeks later my brother in law got very ill and over a few short days we lost him. His death and our families loss put that pain in perspective. I had lost nothing in the programme, but I had lost a brother and that caused very real pain. Thinking back I might have recognised that God had given me the space to support my family through our loss, but this wasn’t my thought at the time. It also doesn’t seem right now when I look back so after this weekend of reflection at Ammerdown, I have an alternative idea as to why God felt I needed another year in formation.

I am beginning to feel that one of the advantages of the extra year is the continued journey with Paul, Bogden & Steve and the new journey with Ric, Mario, Tony & Mike. Maybe my extra year is to help them, or the people we encounter at Wesley, Emmaus, Ammerdown and the other places we visit.

So if there is some truth in that, I was also delayed to learn something myself. It really isn’t about me, it’s about serving. A year ago I knew this, now I feel this. There is a difference, although I really lack the words to describe the difference. I feel called to serve, and glad and joyful and privileged to be able to respond to that call. I feel lucky to be where I am. And where I am is next to Gail, in the company of my brothers and sisters, looking for the opportunity to do Gods work, to serve others.

It’s not about me, it's about how God can use me and what others need from Him.

Follow the Yellow Brick Road

Heres my first and probably last thought that included singing. It's this result of combining The wizard of Oz and Thomas Merton, a strange combination but somehow I linked them together. The Thomas Merton element is taken from his book "He is Risen" and if you get the chance you should read this. It very short and very beautiful.
Reading this though now it seems a little disjointed, one of the disadvantages of only having 2 minutes. I would be very interested in knowing your thoughts on this though, please feel to a comment.

Follow the Yellow Brick Road

Something has changed within me

Something is not the same

I'm through with playing by the rules of someone else's game

Too late for second-guessing

Too late to go back to sleep

It's time to trust my instincts

Close my eyes... And leap... It's time to try defying gravity.

Were these the thoughts of Peter before he stepped out onto the water towards Jesus.

Maybe, but in fact they are taken from a song in the musical Wicked, a kind of squeal to the Wizard of Oz. Instead of focusing on Dorothy's walk down the yellow brick road it tells the story of the good and wicked witches. But it is Dorothy I want to talk a little about. If I remember the film correctly her journey starts off in a bit of a spin, then landing in a colourful world, and after a bit of a song and dance, she sets off down a long yellow brick road.

Dorothy's destination was the Emerald City, her instruction for getting there were easy, just follow the yellow brick road, follow the yellow brick road, follow, follow, follow, follow, follow the yellow brick road. I am sure you have all seen the film as often as I have so I don't need to mention Scarecrows, tin men, lions, little dogs, flying monkeys or buckets of water.

But I do want to mention red shoes, Dorothy's journey started when she was given the red shoes, it finished with them as well, just click your heals three times, there's no place like home.

Our journey may well start with a leap of faith, a big song and dance, but like Dorothy's it soon gets a little scary. Our road isn't painted yellow and is not always easy to follow, so we have to remember Christ is risen, as the angel in the tomb said “he's gone ahead to Galilee”, and where He goes we have to follow. So if we are looking to encounter The Risen Christ in our lives, maybe we should like the disciples and Dorothy, return to the place we first meet him.

Homeless in Advent

In this the third of three thoughts Brendan was kind enough to send me he speaks of the homeless, a subject close to my heart. This is a particularly challenging thought and well worth publishing here just before advent.

Homeless in Advent by Rev. Brendan Vaughan-Spruce

‘Foxes have holes and the birds of the air have their nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head.’ I imagine the Advent and Christmas period must be a very difficult time for those who are homeless. Of course, life is always difficult for the homeless, but as preparations for Christmas puts extra focus on present buying, gift giving, family meals and celebrations, life on the street is a stark contrast to all this. There it is cold, lonely, frightening.

Yet, do the homeless not have a choice? Maybe they are simply too lazy to get a job. Why should we give them anything? They would only buy drugs or alcohol if we gave them money, wouldn’t they? The reality for these people is often far more complicated than we presume to know - many are afflicted with mental health problems, or suffer the consequences of drug and alcohol addiction, or they are young victims of abuse who believe that life in the cold, wet and inhospitable street is preferable to the torture that was happening to them in their family home. Sadly, many of these young people are soon preyed upon by others, who seek out lonely and vulnerable figures, who obviously have nowhere to go. Unloved, unwanted, any sense of self-worth or any hope of anything better in life must soon disappear. Well, they are in good company on the street, because Jesus is with them, with nowhere to lay his head. Of course, simply knowing this does not in itself end the suffering of these poor and broken people, but maybe it should give them hope because the followers of Jesus are interested in the things that Jesus is interested in - aren’ t they? They are where He is – aren’t they? Did he not say, ‘For I was hungry and you gave me food.’? Did he not himself become one of the least? And did he not become one of us in order to show us that every one of us is wanted and loved?

Blessing and Loss

Another Though by Brendan, I remember this one very clearly. It was very moving listening and watching Brendan deliver this thought. His love, pride and loss were laid before us, a very personal and brave thought. What do you think?

Blessing & Loss by Rev Brendan Vaughan-Spruce

Not long ago I was in Galway in Ireland, where my eldest daughter entered the Poor Clare monastery to begin life as a contemplative nun. A family of six went over and five returned.

She had felt a call to the contemplative life for three or four years, throughout her time at university, and having stayed with a number of religious communities she finally found the Poor Clares in Galway to be the community that seemed right for her. They are a strictly enclosed community, and she will leave only once, at the end of her postulancy which lasts for ten months. Then, after two weeks at home, she will return to be clothed as a novice and to receive a new name. We will be allowed to visit her only four times a year, but at least we can send letters as often as we like.

I have mixed feelings about my daughter’s strictly enclosed life. On the one hand I feel that I have lost someone very precious - our first child who I love dearly. In the past few weeks especially I have reflected on her life, from her first cries, her first faltering steps, her growing up, her sense of humour, her intelligence, her achievements and her strong faith. I remember my great joy at seeing her being presented with her first class degree from Cambridge University. But after all that, she had decided to leave us for a new life in another country, where we would be able to see her only very rarely and only through the bars of the grille.

On further reflection, however, I feel that our family has been greatly blessed by her life with us and blessed further by her decision to devote her whole life to prayer and worship in a particularly powerful witness to Jesus Christ. Her courage and trust in following her call from the Lord, is a great inspiration for me and hopefully for others.

Of course, I have not lost her because she will always be a part of the life of our family, in our thoughts and prayers, through letters and visits. I entrust my daughter to the care of God as she seeks to live His plan for her and I know that we are united in His love, and that He is with us always wherever we may be.

Reflection on my calling

I would like to share with you something I wrote a couple of years ago while staying on holy Island.

It’s a beautiful sunny afternoon with a bitterly cold wind blowing in off the sea. The sun is so bright I cant really see the laptop screen and the wind so cold I wont be able to feel my fingers or the keys on the keyboard by the end of this paragraph. I am sure the likes of Aiden and Cuthbert didn’t have these problems over a thousand years ago. However I am sure they did have the sun, the beach, the wind and the desire to come out here and ponder the world around them, Gods creation, laid out in it’s simple beauty. The Island I am currently marooned on is Lindisfarn or Holy Island. It’s a wonderful escape from the busy world  I live in. It’s a small Christian centred paradise to retreat into for a short time, to recharge and then emerge ready to meet the world head on again. But back when Aiden and Cuthbert were setting up their church and monastery this wasn’t a remote escape, it was a major trade route for shipping running up and down the coast. This place was picked not for it’s remote nature of today but precisely the reverse, their message could reach out from here to the rest of the country, and it did!

There is another island, a lot smaller, about 400yards in front of me. It’s St. Cuthberts island and there is a large wooden cross erected on it. When the tide goes out you can walk across to the island. Maybe there, Aiden, Cuthbert and the rest found the level of remoteness needed to refuel them for their mission.

You can see the main land from here also, a mile or two away. Today in the sun it is green, well many greens really, from yellow rape to black green woodland, with vibrant golden green grassland basking in the sunlight. I am not far from my world, in a few hours the tide will have retreated and we could, if we wanted, drive back there. I could right now, pay BT a few pounds and connect wirelessly to the internet. My email could be hear in milliseconds, but here now for this week I choice not too. 

I love the idea of this remote island, I can easily dream of living here even working here. But is that what I am being called to do? No, I don’t really think so, my place is in the middle of our business world, at least for now. I have a roll to play, one that pays the mortgage and puts food on the table for Gail and I and our family if they should ever need it. I am also lucky in the fact I have job which influences a small part of a large organisation. If I do my job well, my company makes better decisions and maybe where people and the environment are concerned things get improved. Am I taking my faith to the world like Aiden and Cuthbert, no not really, but am I living it in the world, yes absolutely. And that is what I am called to do.

As I said at the start of this, there is a cold wind blowing and I really cant feel anything but pain in my fingers right now so I am going to finish now.

The Desert

Life can be so busy that our spiritual life often takes a back seat, and sometimes we feel a need to get away from it all – at least for a short time. I recently watched a documentary about an Anglican priest, who travelled to a monastery in Egypt, where St Anthony, the 3^rd Century hermit lived. He was searching for a deeper experience of God and also some direction after his marriage had failed. He said he chose the place because, “there’s no escape, there’s no distraction… and we face and deal with our issues.”

One of the monks lived a completely solitary life, in the cave of St Anthony, which was set in a rocky and desolate desert mountain above the monastery. This monk offered him his cave for three weeks and went to live in another cave higher up the mountain.

Here there was complete silence, and the only distractions from a focus on God were all sorts of wandering thoughts. The first week was a very difficult and challenging time, with many disturbing thoughts coming to the surface. It was as if the silence and the isolation were breaking him down. However, by the end of the third week something had happened, something had changed within, and the difficult period where everything was questioned had given way to a deep peace. Something of God had been glimpsed in the silence and solitude of the desert.

Most of us do not have the opportunity, and probably not the desire, to spend a few weeks alone in a desert cave, but in this period of Lent, when we reflect on the forty days that Jesus spent in the wilderness, maybe we should consider spending some time in silence and solitude each day. In the silence and desert of the heart, being aware of the sound of each living breath we take, we can be more conscious of the living, life giving presence of God, who speaks to us in the gentle breeze. 'Be still and know that I am God', says the Lord, and we can be sure he is with us always, even in the busiest moments.

 by Brendan Vaughan-Spruce

Silence

Here's a thought that probably doesn't work well when you read it to yourself. Try reading it aloud in a quiet space. Read it slowly. When you see dots just count a second in your head for each dot.
Is this thought to complicated to put into a book? or does it capture some of the moments between verses when we say the office together. Have a read, have a ponder, then click on the comments button at the bottom of the post and tell me what you think.

Silence

Last week I was sitting in the barbers waiting my turn and enjoying a few minutes of quite time. As I sat there I realised that my quiet time was anything but quiet. I could hear,

the click of the scissors,
the buzz of a razor,
a conversation that I couldn't quite overhear,
the rustle of newspaper pages,
the scraping of a leather soled shoe on the lino floor
and a high pitched voice was singing on the radio.

My quiet time was missing something…. it was missing SILENCE.

Real silence… like that found at the top of a mountain… or in mum and dads back bedroom deep in the Irish countryside, that’s something really special… I don’t find it often, but when I do my heart lifts and I can’t help but smile….. Silence is where love creeps into a conversation….. It was silent when I first kissed my wife….. and silent again, when I realised I loved her….. I adore the silence in an empty church….. and the silence between lines of a prayer…..

A famous Frenchman once said, "A designer knows he has achieved perfection not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away." So when you can, find yourself a moment of silence, and experience the perfection of a moment shared with God.